Ten years…. A
house, a couple of cars, three kiddos, a dog and a wealth of knowledge is what
I’ve gained in ten years of marriage to Mr. Jonathan Paxton. I can honestly say that I don’t regret a
minute of it. I love him more today than I did ten years ago although I
certainly didn’t think that was possible when I repeated my vows and said I do.
The last ten years of my life have not been perfect but they have been the best
ten years of my life.
When we got
married, we didn’t have the newlywed time of just being a couple. We were instantly parents. Our daughter is
from my first marriage. From the very beginning, Jonathan said that he didn’t
feel like he could truly love me with all his heart unless he truly loved
Hollie. In turn, he said he couldn’t love Hollie unless he had a genuine respectful
relationship with her Dad. Instantly, I
admired him for that. I have always been very thankful that Jonathan took that
approach to this situation. It not only benefited our relationship by taking
away the tension of what could’ve been an uncomfortable situation for years to
come but it blessed Hollie. She has not one Dad but two. She knows that they both dearly love her and will go above
and beyond to take care of her. This might’ve been one of the first and most
valuable lessons I learned from this union. If you love somebody enough (in
this situation, there were three people who loved one little girl very much)
you will do whatever it takes to make that relationship work. I should’ve known
then and there that God had something very special planned for us because it
was that very special “Life lesson” that has carried us through many difficult
situations since then. We’ve been through several job losses (the IT industry
isn’t always the most stable), two difficult pregnancies, personal health
issues, and the roller coaster ride of parenting two beautiful active healthy
kiddos and one beautiful medically complex baby boy. What I’ve learned through
that is what I’ve already said… It comes down to selfless, sacrificial love for
the other person. Thankfully we had that very solid deep rooted foundation
before our little caboose was born because life was full steam ahead from the
moment they placed him in our arms. Our lives were changed with each of our
children. With Hollie, we learned together how to co-parent. I had to step back
at times and let him do things for her that I had always done. Otherwise, the
two of them never would have developed their own relationship. Aidan was our
first son. He was Jono’s first baby and he made us all a “blended” family of
four! Life was busy no doubt but we were still a young couple with two kids,
two incomes, and one mortgage. We had it all under control. With Lydon, our world changed! We suddenly became a
family of five, the kids outnumbered the adults and one of those babies
required the attention of both of us at times. Jonathan and I have become different
individuals and approach parenting much differently now than we did ten years
ago. We now appreciate the simpler things in life much more than we use to. We
use to take for granted having dinner together as a family and become very
frustrated with the hustle and bustle of the daily bedtime routine. Don’t get
me wrong, those frustrations still exist. Sometimes even more so than they use
to ( it generally takes me close to an hour to get Lydon’s nightly meds done,
rocked and in bed with pulse ox, oxygen, and feeding tube all connected) but
it’s much easier now to remind each other of what life is like when are
separated because of a hospitalization for days and sometimes weeks at a time. We
have learned how to be less judgmental not only of each other but of others in
general. We work harder now to instill this mindset in our children. We have
learned how to be more mindful of each others needs. We’ve always appreciated
each other but we are both more apt to do something simple for the other like
taking out the trash or making up the bed. That being said, we’ve also learned
not to be nearly as frazzled when somebody forgets trash day or the beds do not
get made. We’ve learned that you more consciously have to make time for each
other and we both work hard at this. Sometimes that means picking up dinner and
not feeling guilty about it or cleaning up the kitchen so that the other one
can take a hot bath. It’s easier now to
live in the moment than it use to be. I sometimes find myself thankful that I
was stopped by a train because it forces me to stop the car and sit in that
moment. I’ve closed my eyes and whispered a prayer or two, made an important
phone call, clipped fingernails and sometimes just sat and done absolutely
nothing as I watched the train pass ever so slowly.
Aaahhhh uninterrupted sleep!
Beautiful Key West
My "prize" for ten years... Looking forward to ten more! ;)
Congrats. We are celebrating 10 years too this Summer.
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