Happy Birthday...Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013!

     Yes, its true, I am another year older. I have completed 37 years of this,  my earthly life. I so clearly remember being 17 and thinking that I knew then everything that I know now.  Whats funny is that I probably did know most everything that's necessary for survival. I knew how to drive, how to cook, how to do laundry, balance a checkbook, study and ace a test, etc. What I didn't realize is how much knowledge I would gain from just living life the last 20 years and how much that knowledge would change who I was and my prospective on life.  In the last five years I feel like I have learned more "life lessons" than I did in all the 32 years before. I now realize more than ever before what an incredible blessing it is to have a healthy baby/child. I realize how I have in the past taken for granted the fact that my children would turn 5, hop on the school bus and walk in to Kindergarten. I now understand the heartache of knowing that my baby boy very likely will not get on the school bus and walk in to Kindergarten. And after the events of this past month,  I also understand the joy of seeing my other two babies step off the school bus each afternoon! Never again will I walk my kids to the bus stop or drop them off at school and not say a prayer of protection over them as I drive away. I've learned in the last two years that when times are tough, you may not really have as many friends as you once thought you did but the ones that honestly care about you will shine through like a diamond. After all, diamonds are made in the rough! In 2012 I was either directly or indirectly acquainted with four families who lost their babies. All of them only 2yrs old or younger. From this experience, I learned that much of life is not about how big your house is or how clean your floors are (although I would love to have a bigger house with cleaner floors) but about how much time you spent living in the moment! Not just being in the moment but putting down the cell phone and living in it!That lesson has been even further drilled into my head as I take care of my 90 yr old Grandmother. Many times for her, she doesn't remember if she ate breakfast or took a shower but she remembers seeing Lydon everyday, she remembers him teasing and playing games with her. She remembers her brothers and sister, her parents and childhood days, and her spouse and all the memories they made while raising four children. She often times doesn't remember the tangible things like the  house they lived in or the cars they drove.No, she doesn't remember the things that you can see, but she remembers what you can feel. The love. The trust. The loyalty and faithfulness.
     2012 was an extremely rough year for us. We spent the biggest part of the first half of the year in the hospital with Lydon and then at home on TPN. We faced several challenges with Lydons health care and had to make the very hard decision to switch some providers. I had to quit a job that I loved because of  Lydons health issues. We in turn battled some big financial issues. We experienced the heartache of seeing some friends bury their babies all the while knowing in the back of our minds that especially after this past year, we couldve just as easily been walking in their shoes.  Jonathan continued to battle some major health issues that are still unresolved. We dealt with some teenage issues which are never fun and always a challenge.  2012 was not a "good" year but I learned some of the most valuable lessons that I feel like I will hold on to for the rest of my life.
     Life really is about the moments that take your breath away. Saying good night and good morning to the one person who smells your morning breath and still loves you. Seeing the joy on your children's face when they realize how to read a sentence or spell a word without your help. Feeling the joy on your own face when your teenager tells you how much she appreciates you taking her to school when she misses the bus or when Aidan told me on Christmas night that Christmas really isn't about all the presents but its about the birth of The baby Jesus and that all we really need is the love and the caring. Realizing that it really doesn't matter at all what house you live in as long as all of the people you love and care about are still alive.
     So as we say goodbye to 2012, I choose to remember it as a difficult year indeed but also a year in which I gained so much! And as we begin this new year of our lives, here is what I wish.
Hollie, my beautiful girl... I hope that this year as you finish your sophomore year of high school that you find your passion, whatever it may be...music, photography, or maybe something new that you haven't ever tried before.  I hope that passion grows deep in your heart and always bring you comfort and joy. I hope that the challenges that you will face in school, in learning how to drive, in friends and social situations aren't too hard but difficult enough to make you stronger and more appreciative of who you are and what you have in life.

Aidan, my energetic boy... I hope that you will learn to be more focused this year. I never want to lessen your love for life and the zeal and the zest that you have for having a good time but sometimes life isn't all about fun.  I hope that you learn that it may not be as fun to follow the rules but that they have usually been put there for a good reason. I hope that you learn to listen better and redirect your passionate energy in the right direction. I hope that you never lose your love for activity and playing hard; otherwise, you will have to drastically change your eating habits to avoid obesity and we all know how much you LOVE your food! ;) I also hope that as you get older that you do not become "wiser" and lose your color-blindness. I love seeing your love for others and your willingness to be friends with everybody regardless of age, race or gender.

And Lydon, my doll... I hope that this year isn't as difficult for you health wise as last year was. I hope that we can do something to improve your airway issue and give you the ability to play without being short of breath and vomiting. I hope that we can come up with some way for you to attend preschool and develop friendships with others your age. I hope that you can have a year without hospitalizations or pain. I hope that you grow bigger, stronger, taller and laugh...a lot! 

And Jonathan, my love...I hope that we have a better year with less stress and more down time. Even more so, I hope that you have a better year. I hope that you are able to get some answers and resolutions to your health problems. I hope that this year brings treatments that grant you less pain and fatigue. I hope that you are able to move forward in career and all of your hard work in 2012 pays off. I hope that you are able to enjoy life more in 2013.

And for myself, I hope that I can continue in my quest to become stronger and healthier. I want to make more time for prayer. I want to focus more on not just disciplining my children but teaching them right from wrong. I want to teach them how to find more happiness and contentment in the things that are free... doing for others, coloring a picture for a friend, singing a song or playing a game. And my wish for all of you is that in your own way, you can do the same because when all is said and done, love is all we need! Happy New Year! Here's to hoping and praying that 2013 will be good to us all!!

 

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

Love NEVER fails!

1 Corinthians 13:8